tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39578222011-04-21T14:09:03.200-07:00laugh your heart out!most people say, ''laughter is the best medicine'' and i want to prove them right. so let me give you this list of jokes that will surely make you smile all day through..Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comBlogger2341100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-917549892003-03-31T20:31:00.000-08:002004-12-25T02:02:44.686-08:00we are in big trouble!
A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-917549382003-03-31T20:30:00.000-08:002003-04-01T21:50:00.000-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-916439132003-03-30T03:36:00.000-08:002003-03-30T03:36:06.716-08:00terrorists attack. Joke of the Day...Sunday
We've just been notified by Security that 6 suspected terrorists have been working out of your office.
Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin', Bin Loafin', Bin Moanin', Bin Lunchin', and Bin Drinkin' have been taken into custody.
Our agent advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-916438882003-03-30T03:34:00.000-08:002003-03-30T03:34:44.966-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-916391862003-03-29T22:42:00.000-08:002003-03-29T22:42:44.390-08:00Jesus is Watching You. Joke of the Day...Saturday
There was a burgler who broke into a home and started to gather the items he wanted to take. All of a sudden he heard, "Jesus is watching you!" He didn't see anything in the dark house, so he went on with what he was doing.
He heard, "Jesus is watching you!" again and then he really wondered who wassaying that. He turned on the flashlight, Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-916391472003-03-29T22:41:00.000-08:002003-03-30T03:34:19.000-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-915827972003-03-28T19:17:00.000-08:002003-03-28T19:17:57.060-08:00better than pork.. Joke of the Day...Friday
A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying, "I know that in your religion you're not supposed to eat pork. Have you actually ever tasted it?"
The rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."
Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. HeAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-915826492003-03-28T19:15:00.000-08:002003-03-29T22:41:58.000-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-915203402003-03-27T19:04:00.001-08:002003-03-27T19:04:36.840-08:00are they working??? Joke of the Day...Thursday
The young driver, thinking his blinkers weren't working, stopped his car and asked his blonde girlfriend to get out and check them.
She stood behind the car looking puzzled, but saying nothing.
So the driver yelled, "Well, are they working or not?"
The girlfriend responded, "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no..."
***Picture of theAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-915203172003-03-27T19:04:00.000-08:002003-03-27T19:04:16.843-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-914615092003-03-26T21:35:00.000-08:002003-03-26T21:35:19.983-08:00Bee Inconspicuous Joke of the Day...Wednesday
Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how things were going.
"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I can't make any honey."
"No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-914614882003-03-26T21:34:00.000-08:002003-03-26T21:34:56.860-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-913956172003-03-25T22:08:00.000-08:002003-03-26T01:36:35.000-08:00tragedy Joke of the Day...Tuesday
There are three guy's on an air plane, a priest, a military commander and a father. The pilot said to drop every thing that they were holding. The military man was holding a bomb, the priest was holding a book, and the father was holding a shoe.
When the plane landed the priest saw two kids crying. He asked whay are you crying they answered are dad died Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-913955932003-03-25T22:07:00.000-08:002003-03-25T22:07:46.936-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-913339292003-03-25T00:13:00.000-08:002003-03-25T00:13:24.873-08:00the fly... Joke of the Day...Monday
A fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school.
One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. ButAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-913339162003-03-25T00:12:00.000-08:002003-03-25T00:12:56.093-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-912633152003-03-23T21:46:00.000-08:002003-03-23T21:46:42.043-08:00where's the pine tree?.. Joke of the Day...Sunday
One night, a blonde is driving down the road. Suddenly, there was a pine tree in the middle of the road, so she swerved right.
Then, there was another pine tree in the middle of the road,
so she swerved left.
By this time, a cop had signaled her to pull over. The officer got out of his car and asked, "Ma'am? Why were you driving recklesslyAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-912632752003-03-23T21:45:00.000-08:002003-03-23T21:45:43.403-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-912146942003-03-22T22:40:00.000-08:002003-03-23T21:47:16.000-08:00the bigger they are.. Joke of the Day...Saturday
Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
So he goes back to play. Minutes Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-911662142003-03-21T21:34:00.001-08:002003-03-22T22:39:35.000-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-911662422003-03-21T21:34:00.000-08:002003-03-21T21:38:16.000-08:00being a bear... Joke of the Day...Friday
A former Marine was now working for UPS, He and his wife bought
their 4 year old son two stuffed bears, one in a UPS uniform, the
other in full Marine dress. The boy was happy for the gift, but
appeared a bit confused. So his father dug out an old photo of
himself in his Marine uniform and showed it to him.
"See Ronnie, this is daddy." he said Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-911071242003-03-20T21:40:00.000-08:002003-03-20T21:40:36.140-08:00letters of excuse. . Joke of the Day...Thursday
These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the country:
"My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
"Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."
"Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31,Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-911070792003-03-20T21:39:00.000-08:002003-03-20T21:39:32.356-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-910347132003-03-19T19:45:00.000-08:002003-03-19T19:45:20.483-08:00James Mourns for his Dog. . Joke of the Day...Wednesday
James lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day, the dog died, and James went to the parish priest and said, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there is a new Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-910346542003-03-19T19:44:00.000-08:002003-03-19T19:44:19.716-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-909742702003-03-18T21:51:00.001-08:002003-03-18T21:53:33.000-08:00your wish is my command.. Joke of the Day...Tuesday
While walking in a cave, a blonde girl, and two guys, found a magic lamp. They picked it up, and after rubbing it, a genie appeared before them. He said to them, "Since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The first guy wished that he was 30% smarter, and the genie made him 30% smarter.
The second guy wished that he Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-909742612003-03-18T21:51:00.000-08:002003-03-18T21:51:47.576-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-909063822003-03-17T22:00:00.001-08:002003-03-17T22:00:37.106-08:00there is no fish!!! Joke of the Day...Monday
A blonde decided to go ice fishing. She got dressed and gathered her fishing tools. She went out onto the ice, dug a hole, and was just about ready to dip her line into the water, when she heard a deep voice say, "There are no fish in the ice!"
The blonde, hearing the voice, picked up her things, and moved to a different part of the ice. She cut Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-909063682003-03-17T22:00:00.000-08:002003-03-17T22:00:18.356-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907992732003-03-16T03:29:00.001-08:002003-03-16T03:35:07.000-08:00slow down.. or stop??? Joke of the Day...Sunday
Officer: "Why didn't you stop at the stop sign?"
Driver: "I did!"
Officer: "No, you only slowed down."
Driver: "Slow down, stop, same thing."
The officer pulls the driver's head through the window, and begins to hit him with his nightstick.
Officer: "Same thing, eh? Tell me, do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"
***Picture of the Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907992672003-03-16T03:29:00.000-08:002003-03-16T03:29:13.780-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907939942003-03-15T22:00:00.000-08:002003-03-15T22:00:24.950-08:00a dollar for the lady Joke of the Day...Saturday
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park.
Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the
dollar.
"There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't
the lady able to work any more?"
"Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."
***Picture of the day***
"when the boss is Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907939682003-03-15T21:59:00.000-08:002003-03-15T21:59:50.280-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907512622003-03-14T22:10:00.000-08:002003-03-14T22:15:13.000-08:00number games Joke of the Day...Friday
From 0 to 8
What did 0 tell number 8 when he saw her?
Ans: "hey, nice belt."
From 6 to 9
Why is number 6 afraid of 7?
Ans: "because 7-8-9
(read: seven ate nine)
What is 1-2-4?
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?
Pupil: That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !
***Picture of the day***
Ä r ï å n n ê ÇAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-907511592003-03-14T22:08:00.000-08:002003-03-14T22:08:02.746-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-906937802003-03-13T21:57:00.001-08:002003-03-13T22:34:58.000-08:00bananas & pajamas Joke of the Day...Thursday
Banana Rama
Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-906937672003-03-13T21:57:00.000-08:002003-03-13T21:57:43.263-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-906339072003-03-12T21:45:00.000-08:002003-03-13T21:53:50.000-08:00the life of Riley Joke of the Day...Wednesday
A new man is brought into Cell 102. Already there was, obviously, a long time resident, a worn out, frazzled, gray-haired man, who looks to be 100 years old. The new man looks at the old timer, inquiringly. The old timer says, "Look at me. I am old and worn out. I'm like an old, dirty, worn-out shirt. You'd never believe that I used to live the life Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-906338822003-03-12T21:44:00.000-08:002003-03-13T21:58:14.000-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-905700342003-03-11T21:37:00.001-08:002003-03-11T21:41:29.000-08:00did you know.... Joke of the Day...Tuesday
Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, the young daughter said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some poor, dumb beast suffered so you could have that?"
The woman shot her an angry look, and said, "How dare you talk about your father like that!"
***Picture of the day***
Ä r ï å n n ê Ç £ à î R ë
___________ ♥ ___________
Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-905700232003-03-11T21:37:00.000-08:002003-03-11T21:37:26.733-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-905076362003-03-10T22:45:00.000-08:002003-03-10T22:45:00.810-08:00same old, same old... Joke of the Day...Monday
A mathematician and a physicist are trying to measure
the height of a flagpole using a long tape measure.
It was a small town with only two public buildings, the Baptist church, and the local bar. One night, a lightning bolt hit the church and burned it to the ground. The next day, the preacher was walking through the rubble, wondering how he wasAriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-905076262003-03-10T22:44:00.000-08:002003-03-10T22:44:43.873-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-903950802003-03-09T01:44:00.000-08:002003-03-09T01:44:54.186-08:00the mathematician, the physicist and the engineer... Joke of the Day...Sunday
A mathematician and a physicist are trying to measure
the height of a flagpole using a long tape measure.
The mathematician takes the tape measure, walks up to the flagpole,
and begins to shimmy up the pole. A short way up, he slips and falls down.
The physicist notices a ladder lying nearby in the bushes. He Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-903925822003-03-09T00:00:00.000-08:002003-03-09T00:00:27.013-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-903521782003-03-08T04:20:00.001-08:002003-03-08T04:20:54.310-08:00extra pants Joke of the Day...Saturday
A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing
convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing
your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an
extra pair of pants for that suit."
"Yes, and it's lucky you have," said the woman, drying her
Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-903521742003-03-08T04:20:00.000-08:002003-03-08T04:20:37.373-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902958242003-03-07T03:39:00.001-08:002003-03-07T03:39:56.000-08:00PAY ATTENTION Joke of the Day...Friday
First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first
anatomy class with a real dead human body.
They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with
a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is
necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:
not be disgusted by anything involving Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902958172003-03-07T03:39:00.000-08:002003-03-07T03:39:18.610-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902851162003-03-06T21:36:00.001-08:002003-03-06T21:36:38.653-08:00All I Need is a Miracle Joke of the Day...Thursday
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902851052003-03-06T21:36:00.000-08:002003-03-06T21:36:26.780-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902228812003-03-05T22:07:00.000-08:002003-03-05T22:07:20.200-08:00how kids pray Joke of the Day...Wednesday
I love kids letters about misinterpreting the Lord's Prayer.
When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this
prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I
could hear them say, "Give us this steak and daily bread, and
forgive us our mattresses." My husband and I always had a good
laugh over this and the memory still Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-902228602003-03-05T22:06:00.000-08:002003-03-05T22:06:47.216-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-901621822003-03-04T22:39:00.000-08:002003-03-04T22:39:28.653-08:00i know what you have been doing... Joke of the Day...Tuesday
There was this boy who sucked his thumb, and his mom was trying to think of a way to get him to stop. One day, they saw a fat guy, and she told her son, "Do you see that guy? He's big and fat because he sucks his thumb."
The boy said, "Oh!" The next day, he was in a store, saw a fat lady, and though she was pregnant, he kept staring Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-901621582003-03-04T22:38:00.000-08:002003-03-04T22:38:47.810-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-900966312003-03-03T21:56:00.000-08:002003-03-03T21:56:56.996-08:00the parrot Joke of the Day...Monday
It was a small town with only two public buildings, the Baptist church, and the local bar. One night, a lightning bolt hit the church and burned it to the ground. The next day, the preacher was walking through the rubble, wondering how he was going to "feed his flock."
The bar owner, driving by, stopped, and approached the preacher with an idea. "I'll tell Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-900959112003-03-03T21:40:00.000-08:002003-03-03T21:40:11.640-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899937662003-03-02T02:37:00.001-08:002003-03-02T02:37:56.420-08:00some lightbulb jokes Joke of the Day...Sunday
HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Three.
One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.
HOW MANY EPISCOPALIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Eight.
One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.
HOW Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899937562003-03-02T02:37:00.000-08:002003-03-02T02:37:31.326-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899513842003-03-01T04:48:00.000-08:002003-03-01T04:50:33.000-08:00the guardian angel's mistake Joke of the Day...Saturday
A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.
Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899513422003-03-01T04:46:00.000-08:002003-03-01T04:46:18.590-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899432862003-02-28T22:31:00.000-08:002003-03-01T04:47:14.000-08:00what violations??? Joke of the Day...Friday
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove
through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash
of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;
even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third
time, at an even slower speed. Same Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-899432632003-02-28T22:30:00.000-08:002003-02-28T22:30:44.293-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-898319452003-02-27T03:35:00.000-08:002003-02-27T03:35:10.716-08:00a marrying gay Joke of the Day...Thursday
A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he
has met a wonderful girl and is going to be married. He is sure
she will be happier since he knows his gay lifestyle has been
very disturbing to her.
She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I
suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?"
He Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-898319002003-02-27T03:33:00.000-08:002003-02-27T03:33:36.950-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-898237192003-02-26T22:39:00.000-08:002003-02-26T22:39:55.826-08:00a million times smarter... Joke of the Day...Wednesday
There were three men who died and before God would let them into heaven, God gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.
The first guy said, " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter."
So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said, "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter."
So God Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-898236392003-02-26T22:37:00.000-08:002003-02-26T22:37:40.060-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-897623882003-02-25T22:45:00.000-08:002003-02-25T22:45:31.060-08:00the perfect excuse Joke of the Day...Tuesday
A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on an interstate road for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80mph, he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him.
"There ain't no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself, and Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-897623622003-02-25T22:44:00.000-08:002003-02-25T22:44:51.500-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-896950452003-02-24T21:52:00.000-08:002003-02-24T21:52:05.403-08:00short quips... Jokes of the Day..Monday.
"It's bad to supress laughter.
It goes back down and spreads to your hips."
Applicant: Before I take this job, tell me, are the hours long?
Employer: No, only sixty minutes each.
On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-896948242003-02-24T21:47:00.000-08:002003-02-24T21:47:13.403-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-895947102003-02-23T03:46:00.000-08:002003-02-23T03:49:53.000-08:00women domination Joke of the Day...Sunday
Everybody on Earth dies and goes to Heaven.
God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines.
One line for the men that dominated their women on Earth,
and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women.
Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone, and Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-895945502003-02-23T03:37:00.000-08:002003-02-23T03:37:03.533-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-895890622003-02-22T23:37:00.000-08:002003-02-22T23:37:54.180-08:00Which Type Of Woman Is Your Girlfriend? Joke of the Day...Saturday
INTERNET woman: Woman of difficult access.
SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things, but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
SCREENSAVER woman: She is not worth Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-895888842003-02-22T23:30:00.000-08:002003-02-22T23:30:57.486-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894914752003-02-21T03:57:00.000-08:002003-02-21T03:57:10.506-08:00your day-to-day funny horoscope Joke of the Day...Friday
Aries (March 21 - April 19) A tricky situation will arise today, but you will rise to the challenge and draw it to a satisfactory conclusion. Oddly, you will hit upon the right thing to do by suddenly recalling an old Gilligan's Island episode.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Strange things continue to happen. Today you will put on a Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894910672003-02-21T03:43:00.000-08:002003-02-21T03:43:20.443-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894796492003-02-20T21:26:00.000-08:002003-02-20T21:26:46.993-08:00how did you know??? Joke of the Day..Thursday.
Two fishermen were sitting in their boat, but not having any luck catching fish. They decided to move to a different part of the lake, when, all of a sudden, the fishing got real good.
The first fisherman asked the second fisherman to mark the spot, and they would return to the same place the next day.
After docking their boat, the first Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894792312003-02-20T21:16:00.000-08:002003-02-20T21:16:42.263-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894173852003-02-19T22:26:00.000-08:002003-02-19T22:28:06.000-08:00wrong feet Joke of the Day...Wednesday
A three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."
He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I only have tow feet and they're the only feet I got!"
***Picture of the day***
Ä r ï å n n ê Ç £ à î R ë
______Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-894171342003-02-19T22:21:00.000-08:002003-02-19T22:21:53.976-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-893585412003-02-18T22:56:00.000-08:002003-02-18T22:58:58.000-08:00the training blondes Joke of the Day...Tuesday
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-893583162003-02-18T22:49:00.000-08:002003-02-18T22:49:32.880-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-892909262003-02-17T22:49:00.000-08:002003-02-17T22:49:22.690-08:00grace before eating.. Joke of the Day...Monday
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the grace before we eat?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "
Lord, why on Earth did I invite all these Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-892908122003-02-17T22:46:00.000-08:002003-02-17T22:46:52.093-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-892242172003-02-16T21:56:00.000-08:002003-02-16T21:56:06.516-08:00what happened??? Joke of the Day..Sunday.
A father and his children are at the beach.
His four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore,
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment, then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
***Picture of Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-892232542003-02-16T21:29:00.000-08:002003-02-16T21:29:39.860-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-891390692003-02-15T03:27:00.000-08:002003-02-15T03:27:37.283-08:00"Oh, the Irony!!!" Joke of the Day...Saturday
Two men are waiting at the gates of heaven and strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man, "how does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-891383212003-02-15T02:46:00.000-08:002003-02-15T02:46:26.486-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890882012003-02-14T04:47:00.000-08:002003-02-14T04:49:15.000-08:00in America..... Joke of the Day...Friday
After many years, a young Jewish student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
"But--where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him.
"Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a beard."
"But at least you keep the Sabbath?"
"Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works on the Sabbath."
"But kosher Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890881062003-02-14T04:44:00.000-08:002003-02-14T04:44:24.386-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890798922003-02-13T23:43:00.000-08:002003-02-13T23:43:58.900-08:00the chinese panda Joke of the Day..Thursday.
A giant panda walks into a restaurant, orders, and eats his lunch. He then pulls out a pistol and starts shooting.
Afterward, his waiter asks him, "Why did you do that?"
As he's leaving, the panda gives him a dictionary, and says, "Read this."
The waiter looks up 'Panda.' It reads: "The Giant Panda is a native of China. Eats shoots and leaves."
Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890798242003-02-13T23:42:00.000-08:002003-02-13T23:42:01.286-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890177242003-02-12T21:53:00.000-08:002003-02-12T21:53:59.130-08:00the blind man's chihuahua Joke of the Day...Wednesday
On an unusually hot day, two men were each out walking their dogs. One walked with a Labrador, the other with a Chihuahua.
The man walking the Chihuahua said he was really thirsty, so the other man suggested they go buy some drinks.
"But, we can't bring dogs into the restaurant" said the first man.
"Just follow my lead," replied the Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-890175002003-02-12T21:48:00.000-08:002003-02-12T21:48:44.640-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-889586262003-02-11T22:10:00.000-08:002003-02-11T22:10:25.036-08:00one weak spot... Joke of the Day...Tuesday
A recent job applicant wrote the following:
"I graduated first in my class at Harvard. Last year, I refused to accept a vice-presidency at GM. I don't care what salary I'm offered, because money has no meaning to me. I never look at the clock and will work 80 hours a week if I have to."
After examining the application, the personnel manager said, "Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-889584452003-02-11T22:05:00.000-08:002003-02-11T22:05:27.873-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-888978362003-02-10T22:21:00.000-08:002003-02-10T22:21:49.670-08:00give me the wallet!!! Joke of the Day...Monday
It was John's turn to drive carpool into town on a day when a new
member was travelling along for the first time. As they rode
along he began to be suspicious of his new carpooling passenger.
John checked to see if his wallet was safe in the pocket of his
coat that was on the seat between them, but it wasn't there!
Next, he slammed on the Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-888968102003-02-10T21:54:00.000-08:002003-02-10T21:54:00.483-08:00Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3957822.post-887950582003-02-09T03:30:00.000-08:002003-02-09T03:36:30.000-08:00where's your license??? Joke of the Day...Sunday
Two boys were fishing on the levee when the game warden
came upon them and asked to see their fishing licenses.
One of the boys jumped up and started running away,
with the game warden in hot pursuit.
About a mile down the levee,
he game warden caught up to the boy, and, again,
asked to see his fishing license.
The boy reached in his Ariannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06227100410460108117noreply@blogger.com